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Well, my aunt Loretta was a real humdinger out in Annapolis in Fifty-Nine. Practically made her living as a nightclub swinger--thirty-four but still slender like a Las Vegas dancer, and all of the sailors bought her wine, red wine. Said, all of the sailors bought her wine, red wine.

And my uncle Danny was a racecar driver, and he moonlighted as a rodeo clown. Loretta, she was his kind of thrill-seeker, so they tied the knot to appease my grandmother, and all the groomsmen wore sharkskin tuxedos, and they swore to god they'd never settle down. Said, they swore they'd be dead before they settled down.

But you can't run from time. And just like ten pennies gets you one thin dime, in this life, the decades pass by means of simple addition.

So Loretta made a killing as a horoscope writer, but Uncle Danny broke both his knees, so they got a motor boat, retired to Miami. They go alligator fishing off Lake Tallahassee and scuba diving off the Florida Keys.

Said alligator fishing off Lake Tallahassee and scuba diving off the Florida Keys. Them old folks, they do as they please.

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from What I've Learned So Far [two​-​volume set​!​], released October 25, 1997

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Paul Kotheimer Urbana, Illinois

For well over 30 years now, Paul Kotheimer has been writing songs. And then recording them. And then putting them together into albums.
At first, way way back in the actual 1980s, he used a cassette player and a microphone from Radio Shack. Now he's the proprietor of Pillow Monster Home Studio, complete with lots of musical instruments and recording gear and one actual pillow monster. YAY MUSIC! ... more

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